What They Don't Tell Us

There are things they don't tell us in our education courses.

"I want to tell you something...

   ...my best friend was raped.
   ...I might be pregnant.
   ...my dad kicked the **** out of me.
   ...I don't have food in my house.
   ...my parents are getting a divorce.
   ...I miss my dog.
   ...those aren't scratches, they're cuts.
   ...I just feel so sad all the time.
   ...my parents drink a lot.
   ...I'm getting new foster parents tomorrow.
   ...my dad's in jail.
   ...the police were at my house again last night
   ...I'm depressed.
   ...we don't have a house.
    ...I feel so alone."

"Let me tell you something...

   ...my door is always open.
   ...I care.
   ...we'll find a way to get through it.
   ...I am so sorry this is happening.
   ...there are many people here that care about you.
   ...I will always listen, but won't always have answers.
   ...education can help get you away from this.
   ...I will always stop when I see you upset.
   ...you are not alone.
   ...this sucks.
   ...I'm here if you need to talk.
   ...I will do my best to get help.
   ...you can do this.
   ...I don't know why.
   ...it may take time, but you will be okay.
   ...I promise.
   ...I believe in you."

"I want to tell you something...

   ...you make me smile.
   ...I wish I was your kid.
   ...you really get us.
   ...I miss your class.
   ...you are always there for us.
   ...I love coming to your class.
   ...you believe in me.
   ...I made this for you.
   ...you are going to be at graduation, right?
   ...I wish you were my teacher next year.
   ...you are my favorite teacher, ever.
   ...I'm going to come to visit!
   ...you believe in all of us.
   ...thank you."

There are things they don't tell us in our education courses.

An 11 Year Old Smile

All we need to do is listen.

I could tell this was going to be a kid I'd remember for a long time. Her 11-year-old smile could light up the room. Her enthusiasm for learning and passion for life was contagious.

She had me fooled.

She had us all fooled.

I can hear it like it was yesterday. Her eyes tearing up, struggling to get the words out, shaking...

"Mr. Storm I have depression."

I had so many questions that I knew I didn't have answers too. I wanted to help but didn't know how. I wanted her to feel better but didn't know what to do. All I knew that I could do was listen.

I spent the rest of that year listening and learning.

Time went on as it does in middle school, as it does in life. She moved on to 7th grade and eventually 8th grade. I would occasionally see her in the hallway or she would stop in my room to say hello. That smile still there brightening up the room, but the hurt still remaining in her eyes.

Time moved on and she was off to the high school. The chairs in my room filled with more kids, each with different needs, each with different strengths, each with different smiles. New kids filling my heart, and the old ones moving to the side to make space for the new ones there.

I would often wonder what happened to her. Students would visit from the high school and I would ask about former students. I would hear sad stories, happy stories, and everything in between.

Time continued to move on and the teaching didn't stop. The world was changing. Social media was beginning and it became a part of all of our lives. Former students began to connect and it opened my heart again to all of those kids.

A notification came through from that kid from many years ago and I smiled remembering her. I accepted and looked at her profile picture. That same 11-year-old smile was there,  and so was the hurt.

Years would go by and I wouldn't have any face to face interaction with this kid. Until this year.

My classes were beginning a research project based on student interests and passions.  I decided to reach out to former students on Facebook and arrange for them to come into our class to speak about their passions and their journeys. The response was overwhelming and I was humbled. I was surprised when she reached out to talk with my class.

She arrived at my classroom door and when I opened it, she smiled. There it was. That 11-year-old smile. There was still hurt in her eyes, but they had a new sparkle to them.

She went on to tell my class about her journey- through middle school and high school, her battle with drugs and her fight with depression. There were moments that I fought back tears, and I wasn't alone. My students did the same. Her story continued to how she had managed to survive and was in college now, holding a 3.87 GPA and looking to graduate as a social worker and wanted to help others facing similar problems like hers. When she finished her story a student of mine walked over to her and hugged her. My class was speechless.

She stayed into my prep period to talk and shared more of her story. She shared that she had taken a train from Maryland to Pennsylvania to talk with my students. When I asked her why she had done that, her response was, "I saw your post and knew I could help your students. I wanted to share my story. Plus, if my favorite teacher of all time is asking for help,  I couldn't say no".

We talked for an hour. I walked her to the door and she turned and gave me a hug and thanked me.  Before she walked out, she turned and said, " I look forward to talking with your classes next year."

I can't wait to listen to more of her story.

You can read more about Teen and Adolescent Depression here.

A Letter to my Younger Teaching Self

Background:

As I look towards the end of my 20th year as a teacher, thinking about this journey happens almost every single day. Each day I'm in the classroom, each conversation I have with a student, each lesson that inspires, each lesson that fails - - I'm reminded of moments I've experienced in my classroom. I'm a big fan of the Player's Tribune and their series of "Letters to My Younger Self". I love reading about these sports stars and their journeys, but I've often wondered what if teachers had the opportunity to share their journey?

This was one of the hardest posts I've ever written. I modeled it after several letters and found that helpful with the writing process, but what made this hard was thinking about those moments that defined me. So many moments happened in my classroom that shaped me as a person and left a mark on my heart that it's impossible for me to include them all. Each of these moments, stories, incidents  I included are real. There is no exaggeration. They are told from my memory and from my heart.

Letter to My Younger (Teacher) Self:

MR. STORM

TEACHER / MIDDLE SCHOOL

Hey kid...yeah you....the one with all the energy, big smile, raising your hand at meetings, and filled with so much passion you can't wait to get to school. 

 I'm you.

Twenty years in the future. Twenty years of being a teacher later.

You're probably looking at me like "That can't be me...twenty pounds heavier, lot less hair...and man, those bags under your eyes? Are you getting any sleep?! What happened to me?" 

Well... let me tell you. Teaching happened. That’s what...you sure you want to do this? You sure you want to be a teacher?

I know what you're thinking. "There's no way teaching is that hard. " You're ready to go get 'em. Get that classroom set-up. Learn your kids' names. Come up with those fun and exciting lessons. Let me tell you, there's so much more to it than that. You're going to soon realize that it's about the relationships you develop with those kids and families and they will mean so much more to you than any lesson plan you ever write.

Your first year will fly by. Teaching 5th grade was your dream and you got to do it. Some of the days in that class will be great. You'll think you're making an impact every single day.  September of your first year will be a blur and you plan the ultimate welcome for your kids' parents. You'll get your suit on, put that awesome powerpoint presentation together, set-up the desks with notes from the kids to their parents and you will practice in front of the mirror for your first ever Back-to-School night. You'll wait at the door to greet parents.  When the first parent shows up at your door and doesn't speak English you think that's okay, you can make this work. 

Only it doesn't work. No more parents show up from your class. Not one. This will hit you hard, but it will make you work even harder.  You sit down that night and write a note to each of your fifth graders and realize you're an even bigger part of their lives. 

The year flies. You won't remember all the late nights you spent in your class planning and setting up lessons, or the countless weeknights and weekends planning and grading. You won't remember the names of some of the teachers you worked with or even the principal's name, but you will remember the first "real" conversation you have with a kid. The first time a student tells you they aren't safe at their home, that they don't want to go home. Good thing you're friends with the head of the Children and Youth division in your town.  The next day, she's not in your class and you begin to worry. She doesn't show up for a few days and your heart is torn up... I just want to warn you, it's not the last time this will happen. It's not the last time you'll lose sleep over a kid that's not yours.

You will never see that kid again. But to give you the fuel to keep going, let me tell you she's okay. That head from C&Y runs into you several years later and lets you know how thankful that kid was for you. But I also want to keep it real - not all of your stories will have happy endings and I want to just remind you, don't quit. Don't stop giving your heart to these kids. There will be many more who need you.

You will teach 5th grade like you are never going to leave, but on the last day of school, the principal will tell you that the teacher you're filling in for is coming back. Your heart breaks a little again -what will happen to these kids? You'll only get to say goodbye to the few that show up to your wedding that summer, but you will never forget these kids. You'll be looking in the newspaper to see their names at graduation and your heart will swell when you see their names, but you will always wonder about the names you didn't see.

Your life will take a direction you never thought you'd be heading...to middle school. You'll spend the next twenty years of your life teaching in a middle school and man, what an experience it will be for you. You will come to love middle school - especially the kids. So much so, you can't see yourself doing anything differently. Sixth grade will be where you make your home first, but it's not where you'll end it.

Middle school will be your first experience working with a "team" of teachers and it will be something you should cherish. Sadly, it won't be around for your entire career. Your team over the few years will change and you will make life-long friends working alongside some of the best teachers and people you'll ever meet. You will do some really fun and engaging lessons with those people. Understand that the support and relationships with teachers who care as much as you are just as important as the ones you develop with the kids. Make time to connect with them - eat lunch with them, get together for breakfast, connect on social media...enjoy the adults around you who are also giving their hearts to kids.

That first year in your classroom will be amazing. You will meet the first group of kids from a community that you will become a part of, and you will never forget any of them. There will be kids from this class that you connect with deeply. You will form bonds with them because they are the first group of kids you teach at a place you’re going to spend a long time at. Take all the coaching jobs they ask you, teach those lessons that others will question, and leave your door open to the kids before and after school. There will be many early mornings and late nights.

The crazy thing is you'll be doing this while you try to raise a family. Teaching will take a toll on you - your blood pressure will be up, your diet won’t exactly be the best, and you will always be thinking about those kids,  but remember your family comes first. Your kids will thank you for helping them chase and achieve their dreams. You will also be lucky to have a wife who will be there to listen to your stories about the day and understand your passion.  It won't be easy being a parent, a husband, and a teacher, but it will be worth it.

The teaching years will fly by. You’ll make a promise to each class that you will remember each and every one of their names, but the years blend together and you won’t remember what year you taught them. But I’ll tell you this, you will not forget the kids that you taught.

You will have names and faces that are burned in your mind forever. There will be moments that make you look at sunny days in the spring a little differently. Like the sunny afternoon in the spring when you were out in your backyard and your wife hands you the phone. Time slowed as you heard the phone chain message beginning with “we have terrible news…”

 Time will stop when you hear the name. The name of a kid who’d said goodbye to you Friday afternoon. A kid who visited your room every day after school. A kid you’d never hear say goodbye again  It’s the first time you ever experienced a kid you knew taking their own life. That moment will stay with you and shape the rest of your career. It will be a driving force in your career. You will always do your best to read a kid’s face and really see what they are feeling.  No matter what, you will make time to listen to kids

That student won’t be the first you’ll lose - there will be car accidents - kids like Chris and Larissa; drug overdoses - kids like Katey and Jose. And there will be more tough conversations with kids about abuse, drugs, eating disorders, and self-harm and you will find a way to listen and be there. You will have kids that go off to serve our country and not come back the same. These kids will stay in your heart and you’ll remember their twelve-year-old smiles forever.

Those days and moments won’t be easy…

Doesn’t sound like what they tell you in college, does it? None of those undergrad classes prepared you for that, huh?

Keep your head up. It will cross your mind many times about what you are doing. Is it worth it? Am I really making a difference? Can I be the change these kids need in their lives? You can and you will. I promise you.

You will go through many changes as a teacher. You will begin to understand that there is a lot that needs to be fixed with our education system.  Keep trying to fix it, change it, and be that teacher that you needed when you were in middle school.  Find the support you need to make it through. You will connect with amazing teachers across the world. These teachers will inspire you, motivate you and challenge you

You will attend graduations, birthday parties, and even be the DJ at one of your student’s wedding (and no, you won’t get much sleep the night before that). You will be there to offer encouraging words reminding a kid to keep chasing their dream of being a vet, even after almost quitting twice - she’ll learn that the third time is the charm. You will attend sporting events, plays, and dance recitals.  Those kids will become your kids.

You will question whether or not the kids even care? Believe me, the kids will find ways to show you they care. Some will eat lunch with you every day for two years straight. Some will make you cards and pictures - make sure you hang on to those, and some will cry on the last day of school.  Other kids will do it in the most “uncaring” of ways, but those are the kids that will need you the most. Always remember that. 

You will get to know a lot of kids and their families. You will come to be part of a community that you don’t even live in. You will always hope that all the work you’re putting in is helping this community.

When you get that notification on Facebook from a face that looks familiar to you but seems all grown up, accept it.  Social media will allow you into their lives, like you allowed them into yours. You will look at the pictures of these “kids” (they’ll always be kids to you) and realize you had a part in their lives. And all over again, you’ll be there to experience the highs and lows with your kids. Don’t be afraid to comment, congratulate, offer condolences...let them know you still care.

1998 will turn into 2018 in the blink of an eye.

When you walk through the door on a cold winter day of your twentieth year, you’ll comment to your wife,  “I’m tired, so tired...it’s so hard this year. I can’t believe what my kids are telling me and going through.”  

To help you try and feel better your wife will reply, “You’re not going to save every kid.”

No, no  I’m not, but I’m going to keep trying. I’m going to think back to you. I’m going to think back to why I became a teacher.

Good Grief Charlie Brown Teacher

The first day of school is what sets the tone for the rest of the year. Did it start something like this?

Make It Count

As a kid growing up, I remember those days in the classroom. I can almost picture the spot on my desk where the drool would puddle up, as I "listened" to the teacher explain for twenty-five minutes who she was, what her classroom rules consisted of - all thirty of them  what her expectations were for us, what would happen if we didn't follow them, how all of our assignments counted -some more than others, wah, wah, wah, wah...the crazy thing is those Charlie Brown days are still occurring in today's classrooms.

Those Charlie Brown days can't exist in our classrooms today. I'll be the first to admit, and it's only taken 18 years, that the procedures, the rules, the million things about me can wait. - we only get ONE first day, ONE day to make that first impression and ONE day to show the kid what we are.

Life is Just A Bunch of Jellybeans

This year my first day was not about rules...not about procedures...it was about time. It was about the time we would be spending together, the time we would be doing amazing things, the time we would spend  learning about each other and learning about the world we live in.

Did I know their names? No. Did I know their stories? No. Did they know me or my stories? No. That would all come. Right now, day one, I wanted them to know that I valued them, I valued their time, and I valued what was to come with our time together.

I gave each student a jellybean and told them to eat it. I asked them what they tasted - not the flavor, but the taste. Some mentioned their beans were "sweet", "nasty", "gross", "good", etc. I told them that each of these tastes was really a metaphor (quick review of that for kids who didn't know) - it was a metaphor for the moments they've had before this class. They're gone now - we can't bring them back, but we can still taste them, still remember them.

I talked with them about how we would be making good tasting memories. I shared how excited I was that each of them was here, that they all mattered to this classroom, and that we were going to do some really incredible things this year. We watched The Time You Have and I handed each kid a jellybean and a baggie. They placed the bean in their baggie and I had them put them in their locker. I told them we'd be pulling them out the last week of school. I told them to remember that jellybean was there and to remember who gave it to them.

That jellybean was there as a reminder. If they were having a bad day, all they needed to do was pull out the bean and remember why they were here and that they would always have someone there for them.

What's So Scary?

This quote was on my board at the start of the school year.

I'm scared.

Yeah...there, I said it.
Deep down inside it's probably something all of you teachers think.

What is it that makes me say this? Let me try and explain.

I'm starting my 18th year of teaching, it's only the beginning of August and that feeling is creeping in. I roll over in the middle of the night and my mind races. I start thinking of my classroom and what it's going to look like - what's going to wow the kids this year? I'm streaming a show on Netflix and I start thinking of the lessons that I'm going to be doing this year - are the kids going to be engaged every single day?

But what I really can't stop thinking about, what makes me lose the most sleep, what makes me the most anxious, nervous, excited...scared...is the kids.

Last school year I made the move from 6th to 7th grade. I had been a 6th grade teacher for sixteen years and it was really all I knew and when I was told I'd be teaching 7th grade, there was much trepidation. Switching grade levels is something that's hard to explain to a person outside of the classroom, but I'd compare it to relocating to another state to do your job - same job, but there's just a different way of doing it.

Despite the move, the past school year turned out to be one of the best all-around teaching years of my career. I loved every minute of it. Moving up with the kids and being able to see them grow over two years was one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had. I developed relationships with those kids that will last a lifetime.

I approached each day with enthusiasm and excitement and continuously told the kids, "I only have 170 (whatever number we were at) days left with you! We have to make them count". This challenged me to make each day meaningful - to make each day something the kids would at least have the opportunity to remember. I knew I'd get to do 7th grade all over again, but these kids only had one shot at it. It turned out to be an incredible year. How do I know this - it ended with smiles and tears.

So what's so scary?

Knowing I have to be better than I was last year for these kids. I only have 185 days with them and I have to make each one count.

Out of All the Teachers...

One of the first people I met when I started teaching was Ellen. Ellen was kind, considerate, and always asking how my day was. One of the best compliments I can give Ellen is that she reminded me of my grandmother.  For a rookie teacher, anyone who took an interest in how you were doing was a blessing. Just spending a minute talking with her and you knew she was genuine and really cared about you. Ellen was our building's janitor. I would get to know her very well over the next few years and would eventually have her grandson as one of my students.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from one of my former students. He sounded a bit down and told me what no teacher ever wants to hear, "Mr. Storm, I have some bad news." He went on to tell me that his grandmother had just passed away yesterday and asked if I would be able to attend the funeral. He told me out of all the teachers she worked with and got to know, you were the one she always talked about. She really cared about you.

As I write this I think about the many relationships I've developed over the years - from superintendents, to principals, to teachers, students, and janitors. These are what make teaching the most important job in the world. Every one of the people I've met over the years has left a mark on me. I only hope that I will be able to leave the same mark on people that Ellen left on me.

Not Many Mondays Left

There aren't many Mondays left in this school year.

I know some of my colleagues are counting them down with huge grins on their faces and looking forward to not knowing what day it is when they wake up. Personally, I am struggling with these "final" Mondays.

This is my first time looping with students. The majority of the kids I'm teaching this year I've gotten to know over two years. I was really worried about making this transition but now I'm worried about these kids leaving. This looping has reinforced what I have felt all along about teaching - that building relationships is the most important part of what we as educators do.

Monday I shared an audio clip by Eric Thomas which asked, "What is your why?" My students posted to their blogs what they felt motivated them to do what they do. This video got me thinking about my own life, both as a teacher and a parent.

There is nothing more important to me than being the best parent I can be. As any parent can attest to, this is no easy task - especially if you come from a household without parents or parents who were dealing with other problems. My parents were both alcoholics and to this day it still bothers me. It's hard to understand what it means to be a good parent until you are one. I'm not sure this makes sense but looking back I know I didn't grow up in an ideal environment and learning to be a parent has been one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. I know I'm not perfect and I know I've apologized to my oldest son for some of the things I've said or done as a parent. I continue to learn as a parent and hope that I can always give my kids what they need. They are my "why" in my life. Why I go to the gym each day to stay in shape, why I wake up early to get the most out of each day, why I try (but don't always do a good job of this) to stay positive, why I try to be the best person I can be - they are my why.

The other part of me that is important is being the best teacher I can be. Some days I wish I had taught my own kids so they could see why I spend my early mornings planning or connecting with teachers on Twitter or attending EdCamps (my oldest son calls them Teacher Nerd Camps). I know why I started teaching - like so many teachers, I was inspired by another teacher. Her name was Mrs. Bailey, my fifth grade teacher.

The why I often try to answer is why do I still teach the way I do- giving everything I can and really never taking a moment to not think about teaching? And the answer is simple. I teach because of kids that walk in my room everyday. These kids are my "why" in the other part of my life. Why I get up early on the weekends and plan, why I constantly think about how I can make their day, month and year memorable, why I talk about them to people like they're my own kids, and why I love what I do everyday. These kids are my why.

Yeah...there aren't many Mondays left in the 2015-16 school year. These kids are why I don't want the Mondays to end.

Be sure to check out my man Dr. Eric Thomas' Website - he is a true inspiration.

Rainy Days

Looking for that Umbrella

As I sit here looking at the once dust-covered box (had to wipe it off; the dust was making me sneeze), I struggle to find the words to explain the emotions going through me...happiness, sadness, fear, regret...I'm not really sure how I should feel. The box contains artifacts from my first two or so years of teaching. I know there's cards from kids and parents in there, and lots of photographs, there may even be a copy of the VHS video yearbook I made for every student I taught my first two years.

I'm not sure what possessed me to crawl up into my steamy attic today to retrieve it - maybe the rain outside on this humid summer day giving me more computer time causing me to look at posts on Facebook from former students who are now, dare I say, "young" adults. Maybe it's the realization that I will be moving to a new subject and grade level after sixteen years, basically starting over. Believe me, the stresses feel like year one, the only saving grace is I have an amazing "bag of tricks" and stories to share that can engage a class at any moment. My emotions are a continuous roller coaster - happiness for the opportunity to start over, sadness at the realization that I won't be watching kids grow over the next three years, excitement over the amazing things I have planned for my kids.

I'm going to open the box in a few minutes and I'm not sure where my thoughts will go, or what I will post. Whatever I share, I know the emotions I feel from the items in that box are going to be powerful.

Heartstrings

I can't explain the emotions. What I do know is this little box is invaluable. What has made these contents even more valuable is the connections on social media. I've connected with so many former students and I am watching them grow up before my eyes - raising their own kids and starting families, traveling, dealing with the ongoing struggles of life, and making moments in their lives. Some of my former students are no longer with us, and as I look at their pictures my heart breaks. Man, I miss some of these kids.

 Being a teacher and developing relationships is the most important thing we can do.  I often wonder the impact we have on our students, and what's crazy, is we'll never know. What I also know is that they may never know the impact they've had on me. With so much negativity and "rain" in our profession, we often lose sight of why we do what we do...why we teach.

I could post hundreds of pictures, not sure why I chose the ones I did, they just pulled at my heart or they showed things I was doing fourteen, fifteen or so years ago that are still essential in today's classroom, and I wanted to share with other teachers in the hope that they could learn a little something from them.

What I learned looking back is that relationships are what matter most in the classroom. Kids are people too and we must never forget that. I also noticed one thing in almost every one of the 400 plus pictures I looked at - smiles. We must never forget to have fun. The kids in front of us will never forget how we made them feel. I challenge you as educators to look at the pictures from almost two decades ago and see what else you can learn.

 
 

 

Sixteen years in and I have lots of boxes, a shelf in my classroom closet, and two bulletin boards devoted to the keepsakes from my students. I remember as an undergraduate student one of my professors encouraging us to keep a box with the things kids give you, from cards, to letters, photos, and all kinds of little odds and ends - to save it for the rainy days in the classroom. Believe me, you can never have enough of those umbrellas as a teacher.

I'm Still Just Teaching

I'm Still Just Teaching.

Before I could bring them back, the words just slipped out of my mouth, "Yeah. That's great, but I'm still just teaching."

A friend of mine was sharing many of the awesome things that people we knew had gone on to do-- jobs with perks, trips, traveling, bonuses, nice cars, etc. and I guess a tinge of jealousy resonated within me.

My friend looked at me  - - "Just teaching?! That has got to be the greatest job in the world - think about how many lives you touch and the difference you make..."

 I thought about it and I've been thinking about it.

Why I Still Just Teach

I Teach...

...because of Mrs. Bailey, my fifth grade teacher. Mrs. Bailey challenged me, inspired me, pushed me and most importantly cared about me as a young person.

I Teach...

...because I love learning and I want my students to understand that we never stop learning.

I Teach...

...to inspire my students to go after their dreams and never stop believing they will achieve them.

 I Teach...

...to change the world for all kids, including my own.

I Teach...

...because it truly is the greatest job in the world.

Share with the world why you are "just a teacher". #justateacher