This Isn't My Story

 English class in 7th grade is not about writing a five-paragraph essay or diagramming sentences (sorry ELA teacher friends, but it’s just not in 7th grade). It’s about communicating effectively, reading and thinking critically, finding your voice, and being able to tell your story. It’s a tough and awkward time for everyone.

I want to share one of my former student’s stories. It won’t ever be finished, and if it were a five-paragraph essay, it probably wouldn't be an "A" paper, and that’s why I’m sharing here.

I spent my lunch yesterday talking with three of my students from last school year. We were standing in my classroom talking about one of their former classmates. I could tell they were holding back and they were not sure what to say, so I said what do you remember about class last year? They began to talk and open up.

One of the kids pulls out their phone and shared a video from our class last year- they said they used to record and take pictures all the time because they wanted to remember this class. In my head I thought, maybe these kids are onto something with how they use their phones.

Then I heard his voice and his laugh, I had to turn around and compose myself. I turned back around and one of the kids hands me the tissue box and the other says, “You know what he told me Mr. Storm? That you changed his life. He really liked you.”

I have been thinking about that and trying to understand that. I knew Emmanuel for about four months. Is it possible to make an impact on a life in that short amount of time? I just don’t know.

When Emmanuel walked into our class of 20 or so - a class with amazingly strong “personalities” the dynamics immediately changed.

I was going over dedications and getting into poetry. I was sharing a story about Lauren Hill- a 19 year old college basketball player diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. We talked about being dedicated and what it means to do something for others and how life is so short, but we can accomplish a lot if we try. (ELA teacher friends, I'd call that "irony").

Our assignment was for each student to pick a moment that they would hopefully experience in their lives and dedicate it to someone else- to think beyond themselves.

Emmanuel looked at me and said, “I’m not doing that Mister”. I sat down and talked to him about the assignment, and he looked at me, one Air Pod in his ear, and just shook his head. I felt like he was thinking “Who is this guy?”- but probably not in those exact words lol.

I made a comment to him about his sneakers as we sat there, he smiled and laughed. I don't remember exactly what I said and was about to make a comment about my own sneakers and the bell rang and he left. I thought to myself, “This is going to be tough, but I like him- his smile and laugh certainly will take him far. The kids got a great personality.“

The day went on and about an hour later there was a knock on my door. I was in the middle of teaching, and I walked to the door and opened it. Emmanuel stood there, in his red sweatshirt hood up, both Air Pods in smiling- and said, “I did my assignment” I said to him aren’t you supposed to be in math class? He pulled his hood off, smiled and handed a folded paper to me. He told me to read it.

I stood in the hallway with him and read the letter below. It was his story to share but he’s no longer here to do that. When I finished reading it I just wanted to hug this tall, lanky teenager standing in front of me. But that would be awkward lol, so I stood there, put my hand out, dapped him up and put my hand on his shoulder and told him “Thanks for sharing this man…I’ve only known you a few hours, but I’m sure your brother would be proud. I can’t wait to see what you do while you’re here. Now get back to math.” He put his hood up, his Air Pods back in, cranked up his music, and I watched him walk down the hall.

We had many, many talks and moments over the course of his short time in our classroom.

And then came the day where I found out he would be leaving. He came into the classroom and told me he was heading to another foster family, I didn’t know what to say. I could tell he was upset, but still trying to act tough.

I asked him where and he said “Whitehall.”

I said “That’s awesome! You're lucky. My wife’s a teacher in the high school there. You look her up when you get there. She’ll take care of you- she’s not into sneakers like me, but she’s pretty cool. Not many people get to experience two "Storms" in their life!” He just looked at me with a smile and shook his head. He walked out my door and I would never see him again.

Yesterday, my former students and I talked about him and how life has no guarantees. It’s fleeting. They laughed at the videos from our classroom, they cried and so did I. I think my tears were for so much more than a tragic accident that took the life of a 15 year old boy.

Maybe it’s not the teacher that can change a life? Maybe, just maybe, it’s the students that can change a teacher’s life?

Rest easy Emmanuel.

A Letter to my Younger Teaching Self

Background:

As I look towards the end of my 20th year as a teacher, thinking about this journey happens almost every single day. Each day I'm in the classroom, each conversation I have with a student, each lesson that inspires, each lesson that fails - - I'm reminded of moments I've experienced in my classroom. I'm a big fan of the Player's Tribune and their series of "Letters to My Younger Self". I love reading about these sports stars and their journeys, but I've often wondered what if teachers had the opportunity to share their journey?

This was one of the hardest posts I've ever written. I modeled it after several letters and found that helpful with the writing process, but what made this hard was thinking about those moments that defined me. So many moments happened in my classroom that shaped me as a person and left a mark on my heart that it's impossible for me to include them all. Each of these moments, stories, incidents  I included are real. There is no exaggeration. They are told from my memory and from my heart.

Letter to My Younger (Teacher) Self:

MR. STORM

TEACHER / MIDDLE SCHOOL

Hey kid...yeah you....the one with all the energy, big smile, raising your hand at meetings, and filled with so much passion you can't wait to get to school. 

 I'm you.

Twenty years in the future. Twenty years of being a teacher later.

You're probably looking at me like "That can't be me...twenty pounds heavier, lot less hair...and man, those bags under your eyes? Are you getting any sleep?! What happened to me?" 

Well... let me tell you. Teaching happened. That’s what...you sure you want to do this? You sure you want to be a teacher?

I know what you're thinking. "There's no way teaching is that hard. " You're ready to go get 'em. Get that classroom set-up. Learn your kids' names. Come up with those fun and exciting lessons. Let me tell you, there's so much more to it than that. You're going to soon realize that it's about the relationships you develop with those kids and families and they will mean so much more to you than any lesson plan you ever write.

Your first year will fly by. Teaching 5th grade was your dream and you got to do it. Some of the days in that class will be great. You'll think you're making an impact every single day.  September of your first year will be a blur and you plan the ultimate welcome for your kids' parents. You'll get your suit on, put that awesome powerpoint presentation together, set-up the desks with notes from the kids to their parents and you will practice in front of the mirror for your first ever Back-to-School night. You'll wait at the door to greet parents.  When the first parent shows up at your door and doesn't speak English you think that's okay, you can make this work. 

Only it doesn't work. No more parents show up from your class. Not one. This will hit you hard, but it will make you work even harder.  You sit down that night and write a note to each of your fifth graders and realize you're an even bigger part of their lives. 

The year flies. You won't remember all the late nights you spent in your class planning and setting up lessons, or the countless weeknights and weekends planning and grading. You won't remember the names of some of the teachers you worked with or even the principal's name, but you will remember the first "real" conversation you have with a kid. The first time a student tells you they aren't safe at their home, that they don't want to go home. Good thing you're friends with the head of the Children and Youth division in your town.  The next day, she's not in your class and you begin to worry. She doesn't show up for a few days and your heart is torn up... I just want to warn you, it's not the last time this will happen. It's not the last time you'll lose sleep over a kid that's not yours.

You will never see that kid again. But to give you the fuel to keep going, let me tell you she's okay. That head from C&Y runs into you several years later and lets you know how thankful that kid was for you. But I also want to keep it real - not all of your stories will have happy endings and I want to just remind you, don't quit. Don't stop giving your heart to these kids. There will be many more who need you.

You will teach 5th grade like you are never going to leave, but on the last day of school, the principal will tell you that the teacher you're filling in for is coming back. Your heart breaks a little again -what will happen to these kids? You'll only get to say goodbye to the few that show up to your wedding that summer, but you will never forget these kids. You'll be looking in the newspaper to see their names at graduation and your heart will swell when you see their names, but you will always wonder about the names you didn't see.

Your life will take a direction you never thought you'd be heading...to middle school. You'll spend the next twenty years of your life teaching in a middle school and man, what an experience it will be for you. You will come to love middle school - especially the kids. So much so, you can't see yourself doing anything differently. Sixth grade will be where you make your home first, but it's not where you'll end it.

Middle school will be your first experience working with a "team" of teachers and it will be something you should cherish. Sadly, it won't be around for your entire career. Your team over the few years will change and you will make life-long friends working alongside some of the best teachers and people you'll ever meet. You will do some really fun and engaging lessons with those people. Understand that the support and relationships with teachers who care as much as you are just as important as the ones you develop with the kids. Make time to connect with them - eat lunch with them, get together for breakfast, connect on social media...enjoy the adults around you who are also giving their hearts to kids.

That first year in your classroom will be amazing. You will meet the first group of kids from a community that you will become a part of, and you will never forget any of them. There will be kids from this class that you connect with deeply. You will form bonds with them because they are the first group of kids you teach at a place you’re going to spend a long time at. Take all the coaching jobs they ask you, teach those lessons that others will question, and leave your door open to the kids before and after school. There will be many early mornings and late nights.

The crazy thing is you'll be doing this while you try to raise a family. Teaching will take a toll on you - your blood pressure will be up, your diet won’t exactly be the best, and you will always be thinking about those kids,  but remember your family comes first. Your kids will thank you for helping them chase and achieve their dreams. You will also be lucky to have a wife who will be there to listen to your stories about the day and understand your passion.  It won't be easy being a parent, a husband, and a teacher, but it will be worth it.

The teaching years will fly by. You’ll make a promise to each class that you will remember each and every one of their names, but the years blend together and you won’t remember what year you taught them. But I’ll tell you this, you will not forget the kids that you taught.

You will have names and faces that are burned in your mind forever. There will be moments that make you look at sunny days in the spring a little differently. Like the sunny afternoon in the spring when you were out in your backyard and your wife hands you the phone. Time slowed as you heard the phone chain message beginning with “we have terrible news…”

 Time will stop when you hear the name. The name of a kid who’d said goodbye to you Friday afternoon. A kid who visited your room every day after school. A kid you’d never hear say goodbye again  It’s the first time you ever experienced a kid you knew taking their own life. That moment will stay with you and shape the rest of your career. It will be a driving force in your career. You will always do your best to read a kid’s face and really see what they are feeling.  No matter what, you will make time to listen to kids

That student won’t be the first you’ll lose - there will be car accidents - kids like Chris and Larissa; drug overdoses - kids like Katey and Jose. And there will be more tough conversations with kids about abuse, drugs, eating disorders, and self-harm and you will find a way to listen and be there. You will have kids that go off to serve our country and not come back the same. These kids will stay in your heart and you’ll remember their twelve-year-old smiles forever.

Those days and moments won’t be easy…

Doesn’t sound like what they tell you in college, does it? None of those undergrad classes prepared you for that, huh?

Keep your head up. It will cross your mind many times about what you are doing. Is it worth it? Am I really making a difference? Can I be the change these kids need in their lives? You can and you will. I promise you.

You will go through many changes as a teacher. You will begin to understand that there is a lot that needs to be fixed with our education system.  Keep trying to fix it, change it, and be that teacher that you needed when you were in middle school.  Find the support you need to make it through. You will connect with amazing teachers across the world. These teachers will inspire you, motivate you and challenge you

You will attend graduations, birthday parties, and even be the DJ at one of your student’s wedding (and no, you won’t get much sleep the night before that). You will be there to offer encouraging words reminding a kid to keep chasing their dream of being a vet, even after almost quitting twice - she’ll learn that the third time is the charm. You will attend sporting events, plays, and dance recitals.  Those kids will become your kids.

You will question whether or not the kids even care? Believe me, the kids will find ways to show you they care. Some will eat lunch with you every day for two years straight. Some will make you cards and pictures - make sure you hang on to those, and some will cry on the last day of school.  Other kids will do it in the most “uncaring” of ways, but those are the kids that will need you the most. Always remember that. 

You will get to know a lot of kids and their families. You will come to be part of a community that you don’t even live in. You will always hope that all the work you’re putting in is helping this community.

When you get that notification on Facebook from a face that looks familiar to you but seems all grown up, accept it.  Social media will allow you into their lives, like you allowed them into yours. You will look at the pictures of these “kids” (they’ll always be kids to you) and realize you had a part in their lives. And all over again, you’ll be there to experience the highs and lows with your kids. Don’t be afraid to comment, congratulate, offer condolences...let them know you still care.

1998 will turn into 2018 in the blink of an eye.

When you walk through the door on a cold winter day of your twentieth year, you’ll comment to your wife,  “I’m tired, so tired...it’s so hard this year. I can’t believe what my kids are telling me and going through.”  

To help you try and feel better your wife will reply, “You’re not going to save every kid.”

No, no  I’m not, but I’m going to keep trying. I’m going to think back to you. I’m going to think back to why I became a teacher.

What's So Scary?

This quote was on my board at the start of the school year.

I'm scared.

Yeah...there, I said it.
Deep down inside it's probably something all of you teachers think.

What is it that makes me say this? Let me try and explain.

I'm starting my 18th year of teaching, it's only the beginning of August and that feeling is creeping in. I roll over in the middle of the night and my mind races. I start thinking of my classroom and what it's going to look like - what's going to wow the kids this year? I'm streaming a show on Netflix and I start thinking of the lessons that I'm going to be doing this year - are the kids going to be engaged every single day?

But what I really can't stop thinking about, what makes me lose the most sleep, what makes me the most anxious, nervous, excited...scared...is the kids.

Last school year I made the move from 6th to 7th grade. I had been a 6th grade teacher for sixteen years and it was really all I knew and when I was told I'd be teaching 7th grade, there was much trepidation. Switching grade levels is something that's hard to explain to a person outside of the classroom, but I'd compare it to relocating to another state to do your job - same job, but there's just a different way of doing it.

Despite the move, the past school year turned out to be one of the best all-around teaching years of my career. I loved every minute of it. Moving up with the kids and being able to see them grow over two years was one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever had. I developed relationships with those kids that will last a lifetime.

I approached each day with enthusiasm and excitement and continuously told the kids, "I only have 170 (whatever number we were at) days left with you! We have to make them count". This challenged me to make each day meaningful - to make each day something the kids would at least have the opportunity to remember. I knew I'd get to do 7th grade all over again, but these kids only had one shot at it. It turned out to be an incredible year. How do I know this - it ended with smiles and tears.

So what's so scary?

Knowing I have to be better than I was last year for these kids. I only have 185 days with them and I have to make each one count.

I Felt Like Chris Farley

Want to get your kids' attention? 

Beyond the “get to know you papers”

As my 8^th grader was getting ready for baseball practice, he put his hand to his head and said, “Oh no, I have homework…another get to know you paper. These are so dumb”. It clicked at that moment. For middle and high school students,  “get to know you surveys”, though often well intended often become a burden and boring to our students.  For years, I’ve collected paper from both my kids and parents, and read every one of them, but I wonder how many of the items on those papers are well-thought out. I mean, one can only write their favorite summer memory so many times…

Your mission should you choose to accept it…

I wanted to take a moment to share with you one of the most engaging back to school activities I’ve done in a long time.  I often hear from other teachers about how we should get to know the kids, how we should build our classroom atmosphere and develop relationships with our kids.  In my opinion, there’s no greater way to get to know your kids and tell them you care, than by showing them you trust them. The following activity is based completely around trust. Allowing my classes to roam around our building, with their phones, and interact with numerous adults had me worried, but also had me completely energized at the possibilities of what this could lead to…one hundred plus students moving around our building in small teams on the third day of school…what could go wrong? I’ll answer that now. Nothing.

Mission Impossible:

Class began with me playing that awesome catchy Mission Impossible theme song. Music played for a few seconds, and I picked up the cheesiest pair of sunglasses I could find. I placed them on my face and began to move around like Chris Farley in Beverly Hills Ninja – doing a roll on the floor and sliding over desks to deliver their “top secret missions”. I had them. I knew right then when I pushed play on that song, that this was going to be an awesome day. Once the music stopped, and my instructional aide, who is working with me for the first time, picked her jaw up off of the floor, I debriefed them on their mission. I also told them how I was unable to be the lead in the movie that came out this summer...they hired some "Tom Cruise" guy, but I was able to be his stunt double - as they could easily see by my athletic prowess. 

The mission gives guidelines, expectation, and the tasks. I attached the mission here. If you're unable to access or would like an email copy please let me know.

As students were moving around the building, I was using Remind to check for status updates and send out various “secret” missions for the kids to complete. I was able to tell my kids to check in with me, report to a specific location, or even when to report back to class. One of my goals this year was to incorporate Remind into my classroom beyond just texting reminders to my students about their work or turning in a paper. I was looking for ways to engage kids in my class with something every teenager loves- texting. My kids were soon texting me pictures of their completed missions which I shared to our Facebook and Twitter, almost immediately.

My kids sharing a fist-bump with the Head Principal

Finding some great books in the library!

Thanking the cafeteria staff.

High-five with the Assistant Principal!

Sharing a secret with me.

Mission Complete

The day after the lesson the class was still buzzing with questions about doing this again and who they took pictures with, and ideas for possible book titles. I was able to interact with every group and even hear some of their most interesting secrets on the third day of school! I thanked them for their efforts and discussed with them about what it really means to trust someone. It's something you don't just get, but have to earn. My students know I trust them, and in turn they trust me. This will go a long way in helping them to take risks and learn.

When we head into class next week, we’ll be creating book covers using this amazing site Canva!  My kids will be sharing photos via google docs and discussing digital citizenship, designing and creating book covers, discussing those books, and working collaboratively…after only a few days of school. I know this is going to be an amazing year. By the way, his blog post will self destruct in five seconds…